Much not being promised, i was assigned to many shows lately. This is what i've been wanting, isn't it? But now that i have a 9-7 job 5 days a week, friends to chill with and a family i want to be with, it's hard to keep focus when i dont even have time to water my plants, wash my fish tanks.
In the middle of last week, i was invited to sing for the prince's birthday. I have known for a fact that this family we're going to be dealing with are a bunch of party-till-they-die-entertainment-loving kinda people.
I was determined to look my best and be one of those classy woman i've always been. And never to go beyond the limits my family have entrusted me with. The show went well and i was half way through my lychee martini when the prince's people came and with alotta firm manly energy, grabbed my arm and said “the royal highness asked for you personally”. Looking around the confined space of abject blackness, i could see women who were paid by actions by the prince – were all literally throwing themselves at him. Crazily and surprisingly, these are the people the whole country look up to. The people who people kiss their hands and bow when being in front of them and these are also the people who people thought were those who deserve extra respect.
I was clueless. I stood next to the prince and asked to be freed from the arm-grabbing people. My crew was speechless. Nobody could do anything. The prince walked to the empty dancefloor asking me to dance with him, i assume. One said that you could earn more than 20k dollars just to dance with him. Yes, everybody would be tempted to have that much of a money, considering that in my case, are due to alotta bills and parking tickets. But no. i stood by my choice of principles and repeatedly asking for forgiveness from the prince. It depends u know, what constitutes 'dancing' to this royalties? For us, its harmless, no-much-physical-contact kinda swaying to the beats. But for them , when they pay you that much of money, they'd expect to feel every inch of your body.
Okay, he's old. His events of wedding receptions was witnessed loyally by me and my whole damn family. I could not do that to his wife. Of course, he has been doing it with plenty of other stray cats, but i wouldn't want to be one of them.
I couldn't hold on any longer, i released my arm and asked for the last forgiveness and walked away without looking back. I was devastated that the whole entire party saw me being rude to the royal highness, but my pride costs more than just the burning amount of money he or anybody could give.
And at the same time, i was glad...no matter how much i struggle to mend my mistakes, build up a life of being the only child to a single mother, i didnt do what the other girls were doing in the party room. I smiled crookedly to myself.
I wonder, if that's what it takes to climb up the steep ladder of society in the entertainment business, how will the real ones like me who are very much passionate about what i do succeed? And if i made it, will i lose my principles? Will i fly high and will never touch my sole feet onto the ground again? I wonder...
ssx
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