Drama-rama, who's the momma?

Another episode of another soap. Have you ever been addicted to some sort of urban hype over some really tacky drama series? I have not, unfortunately. Instead, i have been occupied with some real time drama around me. This supermodel is not just a stick figure with no soul. I crave for some dramas in life too - more than those dramatic ones. Like a gossip you can't stand a second to spill out, like another itch you cant stop scratching. I crave for dramas.

I was one of those who will always be in the middle of a family fight or bottle-head-crushing emotional bitch fights at clubs or even royal family stuff.

Being stuck in the middle or even being the drama. You name it, i've been there. I once threw a super heavy bag to my ex's (not aiden) head once over the slightest misunderstanding. I have once promised 2 guys i was going up the mountain with them separately but end up being with only one of them and little that i know, the other guy's room was right next to mine. And to make things worse, they're friends! I would cry like an annoying baby whenever someone won't do as i say. I was there when a guy almost got killed in a gang fight. I got into so many physical fights – not those hair pulling kinda fights, i'm talking about the real ones with the opposite sex!

Either they were all real or just imaginatively untrue, my being in this world was to create a drama for people to either watch, play along, learn or just ignore. In this city life i live in, it's almost impossible to budge an inch without bumping into those you've slept with, kissed, had a major rude-profane talks with, or those you never wish to see cuz for some reasons you kinda have a feeling you won't see that person anymore, you end up being your true self.

Those were some of the many reasons i stopped being so dramatic, moved to a less city town and just slowed down on stuff.

The cravings started to reach its limit when i found myself sitting at home alone and my life has been so normal. No boyfriend to fight with, no pressures to become insanely depressed about, no unwanted strangers to piss me off.

Since i cant stop partying and going into the city entirely – so quickly, occasional party nights cured my yearning for dramas. I went to an afterparty last two – three weeks. The usuals were there. In my younger days, i dont usually look forward for the major events happening, i would usually look forward for the afterparty – where its more personal, more intimate and that's where you usually get people's names right.

The godfathers of afterparties just got back from abroad when me and aiden bump into them one night. Him (one of them), being one of aiden's close friends, is one of those who are irritatingly wealthy and annoyingly grounded all at the same time. He's one of the King's nephews – nuff said.

We went back to his mansion just to find out many others of his kind were there to celebrate him being back and when he's back, the party's back too. I used to chill with this group more often years ago, when i had the sudden feeling i was attracted to a very unattractive businessman from the circle. We dated for a couple of months, he broke my heart but we're still good friends till now.

At that party, i met my sexually confused male acquaintance. He was one of those i would call my bestfriend at clubs when the lights are unclear and your head was more unclear. He told me one of the most interesting gossips of all. I've learnt that a certain bitch (who once dated businessman) has been dating a dj in the circle secretly. Not so secret anymore since i saw them kissing at the club months prior to the gossip session. She fucked him over by sleeping with his friend, who was her roomie. Wow!

We bitched and bitched till our crossed eyes were too heavy to open to witness each other's expressions.

After that afterparty, i was still longing for more dramas, but none of those happened or told were good enough to keep me going.

Until this week. Lately i realised that some people would use dramas to create a scene, be in the limelight or just to get out of some situations. I wonder, will it ever be safe to be in a drama? If it is, then who's the momma?

The momma of all the dramas are the ones who created the dramas successfully. I have encountered those who would create dramas by laying down some not-so-white-anymore lies. Lies over lies and at the end, momma forgets what she lied about and thats when people know for sure momma's full of shit and is in big big trouble.

Drama momma are those who say things without thinking, say things out of spite. To hurt, to be heard or just to sound important and right. When i was younger and thought i could get away with these things, i did it regardless the exhaustion.

But that was light years ago. We were all cluttered and unfocused. But now? Being in a city borderline tired/stressfull, mommas could still find space for useless dramas.

They talk and talk till nothing gets done. Empty cans? Would make better human beings. If you suffer from one of those symptoms, you have some slight chance to be a momma. So before you be one of those, please stop. We might be able to pull it off once in awhile, for some events where you're surrounded by good looking men and desperately want to look cute or after falling accidentally in public. But at this age?! no..uh-uh, impossible.

My point is ladies and gentlemen, dramas are bad for your mental health. You might end up living a big fat lie the whole of your entire life. So sit at home, stop bullshitting and start thinking. Think deep. Where is your true self?

When making a conclusion might just be for my own thinking and for sure i know everyone is entitled to their own thoughts, sometimes i wonder, how drama IS actually a drama-rama?

ssx