Men aren't disposable contact lenses, which colour your days but when it expires...you dump them in the trash can. When lenses will only vanish once you've thrown them out the window, men you disposed will always be around. Especially when the world we live in gets smaller and smaller each day.
I dont dispose men, but somehow my actions will lead to such perceptions. I was at the upperside of the club last night. Aiden was having his sessions when i received a text msg from rossa.
Rossa read my episodes of stories and commented on it. He said he was speechless. Anyone who knows who i am would be speechless reading what i've written.
Aiden, who just started being a DJ less than 2 years ago, is really doing well at it. Gigs here and there and even got into the finals of one of the finest DJ competitions in the country. Only 5 got selected and he was one of them.
As a friend and an ex-gf, i'm obligated to give him 120% of support. He started late and wasn't as musically inclined in the days where i was just a dream and he was nobody to me.
...
The whole night, i was on msg mode with rossa thinking he'd be at home the whole time. He doesn't come out anymore now that his album is out and about. I had the urge of inviting him to the event, but somehow, deep inside i thought, this music i'm tapping my right feet to, just isn't his cup of tea.
Me and the council were supposed to go to another club for some RnB stuff to celebrate shopper's last day at work. Secretly, i wanted to see rossa cuz he emcee's there. That's the whole point. But when not talking to him for so long made me a little absent from his happenings. Turns out, he doesnt work there anymore. So thats why we succumb to the same ol' spot.
I went downstairs as the club was closing. To my surprise, i saw rossa's friend whom i knew from rossa a long time ago. Just as we started to spark a conversation, i saw a familiar face, the whole point of coming out..it was rossa.
He said hi and judging from the smell of his breath, i knew he was drunk.
I went back with aiden. He sent me home. Rossa texted me while i was halfway through my McDonalds. I didnt answer, i thought i'd give him a call before i go to sleep. He got upset.
He said so many things, including the unspoken. And as i began to become more and more pissed, he wrote...
“You can't keep doing this to me...not anymore”
And there was, the sweat of guilt running down my temple. I knew i hurt him, but did i hurt him that bad? That he had to hold the grudge and spill it out in the name of alco-talk?
Even if it was so bad...why is he still around?
Does being hurt permits one to hurt back, and to break promises? Does repentance really bring redemption? While these are idealistic questions to ask, and are sometimes reflections of reality... i cant help but wonder...is he the one?
He then apologized as he flew to the land of tsunami the next morning. He wanted to make it up to me. I didnt mind.
So he did, last nite. And it was soooo worth the fight. I'm leaving for the ocean in a matter of minutes. To the land i wish i belong. To the hot men i wish i could call slaves. Its a good break. From the city, the loves and the loathes of my life.
Can i get a break when Lil AND Aiden are both going to be there?
ssx
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