Oceania

A break was what i need and a break i had literally. I know i haven't had the chance to pour out what happened, though i have been impatiently drafting the words in my short-term memory internal hard disc. Words can never describe how the whole journey totally changed my perceptions and possibly my whole life. I'll try my best to fill you in.

I was practically shaking when the clock hits 5.30. I was ready for the island. I could almost taste the saltiness of the waters, i could almost feel the breeze. There was only one thing on my mind...summer fling. And by summer fling, i meant Joe.

Joe was the guy i drooled over for months after the first trip to the island. He was a local who teaches the art of painting sarongs for a living. When i was there the first time, we didnt talk at all regardless the fact that he chilled in front of my hut nearly every morning with the locals who own the resort. He has this look that made me go crazy. And since i was a single girl from the city, the beach boys usually throw themselves at those like me. But Joe? He kept silenced and only smile whenever my sights were too obvious to be noticed and were directed at his hot hot physic.

....

So i took a train to the bus station, something i've never done before. Two boys from the band plus their girlfriends, were supposed to meet me at the bus station at 8. As they said the bus was to leave at 8.30 sharp. So i rushed. The traffic was massive because of the coming public holiday for the Independence of the country that made all the city population want to to go back to their hometowns. Or if not, just out of the city to save their already stressed out minds from stressing some more of the circus celebrations happening everywhere.

When i got there, with my heavy backpack, pocket full of crisp cash notes, i walked from the train station to the bus station nervously. The boys weren't there as expected. When called, i got to know that the bus we're taking was going to leave the city at 10! I was so pissed, i thought this vacation isn't going to be as expected, i predicted. And as for the boys, they are a bunch of airheads who would do all these things, sadly.

We didnt get onto the bus we were promised, we had to crash some other illegal busses for some reasons, i dont feel like talking about. The bus ride was supposed to take us only 8 hours, but in our case it went on for nearly 10. i thought to myself, maybe the worse the journey, the better the vacation would be so i hung onto my newly purchased mp4 player and watched That 70's Show till i vanished into the 70's in that beautiful parallel universe of my own.

When we got there at the jetty, i met sweater who was with some other friends who were going to the big island. I was waiting for the very slow boat to come and fetch us to go to the small one.

The very old boat made one of the girlfriends sick and she was throwing up like no one's business by the side of the boat. I realized something by then, the couples have themselves' backs while i'm going to be alone for the next 5 days! Great! The luxury of being in a relationship: someone to hold back your hair when you vomit on the boat. Period.

...

The side of the island we were going to stay at was another one opposite the happening beach i stayed at the last i was there. I just wanted to try new spots. See if it fits. We were welcomed by the very hot men who takes care of the resort. Its not actually a resort. Its a spot where 10 huts were built closely to one other – with – no electricity in the day – and no power points in the room kinda place. Fits me well.

Lil, who was already there since a week prior to my arrival, called from the happening beach, where he was staying. He told me there was a raid the night before and his roommate got busted. He sounded upset and paranoid. Asking me to stay where i am and not to come out at night. I was like...huh?

After his long stay behind the neighboring bars for possession, he became more and more paranoid. I dont blame him. He is a good boy who got lost somewhere along the way.

The boys were already speeding things up by popping some pills to get ready for the beach. They wanted to talk to the fishes. Rrrrriiiigghhhttt.

My idea of being on the island is to be peaceful. No stress, fairly sober...means no hangovers and recoveries. We went over the hill to a very private spot, we call romantic beach. You could have sex in the middle of the beach and no one will be there to stare at your private parts with amazement or worse with a crooked brow. We chilled, smoked some weed and fell asleep in the hot sun.

When we woke up, i nearly fainted due to exhaustion and major dehydration. While struggling to hike back to our rooms, i couldn't help but to think of an excuse to go to the other side of the island to see Lil. I spoke to the boys about my problem. This thing i have for Lil, isnt just a plain admiration. It became a secret obsession and worst of all, it became a game. At least thats what i think is happening, on my end. I lost! In the previous episodes of being with him. I gave in. so this time, i'm going to set my game neat and play it flawlessly.

The moon rose as we planned a nightout. All of us hiked through the thick jungle to go the infamous Palm Tree, a bar..i mean THE only bar on the island. When we got to the other side, it was too early to be pretending to have fun at a bar. So we had dinner first. While having it, i tried to contact Lil. But he didnt answer. Hmmm...i couldnt help but to think he's avoiding me at some point. Though deep inside i knew he was very excited that i was going to be there.

We met the girlfriend of the owner of a resort there. Apparently the boys knew her. Her name was Sharon. A sweet young girl who fell in love with a beach boy and gave up her life in the city and worked there. Since we were supposed to play a gig there that night (but cancelled due to the damn raid the nite before), at the resort Lil was staying in, we asked her how we could we get a sweeter deal there next year. She mentioned how Lil was the one in charged of anything that had to do with entertainment on the island. And when asked where Lil was, she said, “maybe he's in his room taking a nap”.

Knowing Lil, i knew i wouldn't have the chance to see him that night. Why was i so obsessed about seeing him? I can always see him back in the city, some other time. But i've set it in mind that i'd have to have something interesting happening on the island. And plus, Aiden was going to join us on the island the next day. So that was the only night i could go all out.

So we brought our leftover dinners to palm tree which was right in front of Joe's shop. I made it a point to drink the cheap liquor sold there and drink as much as i could. Because i've never been a fan of pill popping on the island. So i bought a Russian vodka. One whole bottle which costs me like nothing. But it paid well i supposed.

Thats the good thing about the island. Everyone is practically naked, in their own skins...no make-ups, no pop-collared men and their car keys hanging out of their pockets, no pretending. Everyone was being themselves, which actually was more dangerous.

While sipping down the vodka, i realized that Joe was actually there, sipping down on his own version of intoxication dose. The light-headed me went straight to Sharon and asked her if she could introduce me to him. And she did.

A paper cup of almost neat vodka later, i found myself flirting with this gorgeous beach boy. I learnt that he was from the city too! But have been on the island for 8 years and is very happy of where he is now. He seemed like a very nice guy. He didnt touch me, not even once. He was smiling the whole time. I told him how i thought he was so damn hot that i told most of my girlfriends about him and how i was there on the island was partially because of him. And he just smiled. I like a guy who reserves himself, who doesnt take such opportunity of talking to an almost drunk girl as something that could lead to something else.

Moments later, my guitarist came up to me and asked “isn't that Lil?”. As i tried to stand up from the wobbly chair, i searched for the sight of my Lil. Yeap...that was him alright. With his berms, black tee, messed up hair...and he was barefooted. Very him. I walked across the dancefloor (yerp, there was a dancefloor in the bar)..towards him, i projected my voice, to be heard as i was so happy to see him, “is that you?”. He looked up and smiled :)

Lil: how are ya?

Ssx: great!

He started putting his hand on my thigh. Marking his territory as he knew i had a thing for Joe since i got back the last time.

Lil: You wanna sit at the other table?

Ssx: ermm..okay (blank face)

At the other table, i met some of his friends, and they were quite fond of me and i felt great. The band, being the couples-side of them had to leave early and they asked how i was going to go back since the walk back to our rooms might take more than 20 minutes, in the dark and all of us had no torch lights. I didnt know what to answer as i still wanted to chill there. Just as i turned around to the group of guys in front of me...i could see 5 guys with their hands raised voluntarily wanting to walk me back. Lil, who still had his hand on my thigh just looked at me with his serious face. So the band went back leaving me with 4 dollars, my drivers license and a pack of cigarettes, oh..and my empty bottle.

I could see Lil was very comfortable with me, and me being with his friends. I have this certain charm with people's friends, i could say. I'm usually adored by people and when being evaluated dicreetly, they'd say “she's a keeper”. I'm extra friendly and sweet and usually people will remember my presence. But all this will only happen when i'm drunk...i'm not kidding.

The way Lil looked at me that night made me feel special, important to him. Once in awhile he will stroke my head and tell me to not get too excited when i get all shrieky. Joe was still around, but at his table. Somehow i didnt care much about what Joe would say considering the fact that i just walked away from him to say hi to Lil.

Lil got a lil fidgety when guys crowd me, so he popped the question,

Lil: you wanna go back with me?

Ssx: (smiles)

Lil: (smile, grabbed my hand and whispers) come, let's get out of here.

We walked along the beach with my cup still in my hand, his arms around my neck and we were laughing at the sights of whatever that passes us by. The walk was quite long and by the time we got to his room, we were both out of breath. He got to his bong and started to recharge with a cone or two. I was babbling about this and that cuz in my mind, nothing's going to happen. We were having so much fun talking about just whatever we want.

There were two beds. He was at his and i was across him on his nabbed friend's. I excused myself and went to the toilet.

When i came out, he was lying down and we continued talking.

Lil: the light is blinding huh?

Ssx: yerp. Turn it off

When the lights are off, we could only feel each other. How the other senses are made to be celebrated. I could feel his face, his neck. We were in our own world. Far away from other people, from the city we both hate. I rest my case, of all the things i could give up after all my regrets while being that single gal who only wants to have fun, i dont think i'm ready to give this up.

And at one point, i whispered in his ear...

Ssx: Lil...

he answered...

Lil: hmm?

And then i knew, it got to me all at once, even in the dark...he still acknowledged the fact that i still cared to stick around.

-to be continued-

Ssx