Sour Times™

After locking myself in this concrete walls of what i call the peaceful side of the world for a year, i miss my city life. Not entirely disconnected from the civilization, i have come to a point where life being alone is just not me anymore. I am comfortable with being with myself, dont get me wrong. But as you grow older you can't help but to realize that this world we live in doesnt only evolve around us.

A guy i met last night after a short hour in the studio, while waiting for my local burger to be made by an obviously non-local lad, said some wise words to me. He chatted me up for abit and i got interested in what he had to chat about.

His name was Francis, an African dude who looked decent form my view. I decided to lend an ear after seeing how he somehow knows what's going through my mind.

A man who is man who has no friend. Is a fool. And that man lives in a mortuary. He said.

What does that mean? A man who works tilll he dies? A foolish man who works as a morgue keeper?

One thing went through my mind immediately. That man is dead. Because he has no friends.

Going back to the days when i was in school. I was always one of the very few who didnt like to socialize. Coming from a school where all the people in the city would consider as the Elite school, i was very much different from everyone else. Even to curly. Curly was a weird one, still is, but many would still want to be her friends. While me...i was a loner.

In college, guys who didnt have the priviledge of being close to me would either say i've slept with them or i'm a stuck-up whore (<--there's no such thing as this, seriously). Girls would say i think i'm too good to be friends with them. One question i had for them that until now they couldnt answer...have they ever been a friend or at least try to get to know me?

Right now, i'm working in an organization where europeans rule and asians slave. It's a known fact that they somehow feel that they have the power, the upperhand to treat people like shit.

Let's not go into detail on that.

After months of thinking it though, i've made my choice(s).

1. Move, bitch!

i need to move back to the city. Maybe not right smack in the awful suffocating heart of the city, but closer. Close enough to smell the desperation of people chasing their way to wealth and fame. But not close enough to hear them screech their expensive tires on the wide wide one way streets.

2. Back to School

i'm going to join 17 year olds back to school. I will get into this once everything's sorted. I dont want to jinx it.

3. Join the group permanently

i'm the official female singer of the group. So i'd have to get ready for the whole make-up drama which is about to happen soon. Very soon. Next week is already the photoshoot for the next album cover. Panic! Panic!

4. Stay in the water

stay in the water, below the global radar of the so-called 'real people of the city'.

.....

I havent finalized my ways of completing the missions, but i wish i could get everything sorted before the end of this year. Fingers crossed.

ssx