Lately I've been thinking about marriage. An eternal life of imprisonment. I was intrigued by the fact that married people have more fun than those who only engage in periodical unserious relationships. These few days of not having anything to do have made me strangely calm and even more imaginative than usual.
At one glance, seeing those who have been married for years and while walking around with their baby in the stroller looking all happy, somehow will make any cynical mind to envious relief.
Behind closed doors, none of us will feel how they feel being married and of course they will never know how we feel coming back to an empty studio apartment listening to the vacant sound of the contemporary style we managed to pull without having to worry about child safety and what not.
Yes, life is fabulous when you're alone sitting in a fashionable restaurant sipping on your petrol-like wine. And as people look through the tinted glass, they will wonder how on earth could we afford such extravagant lifestyle. Of course we can. We earn an X amount of money and all we do is pay the bills and save some for some emergency cases like when your tires go flat and stuff, and the rest...you invest on some leather goods which you choose to believe is a good investment in the years to come.
On men in my life, having none in possession but plenty to look after, i cant imagine with one of them all to myself the whole entire day together. I could barely keep a straight face and pretend how i was still enjoying the conversation after just 4 hours of being with a guy.
I get bored easily so to be around me, you either have to be extremely hot or you'd have to be really interesting. If not, I'd rather have a long stare at those hot pink Stella McCartney pumps i wish were mine.
Back to marriage, i imagine my husband to be hot of course. With a very cool look, meaning not trying too hard fashionably. He has to have a promising career which has to be realistically ambitious. When i say career, i don't mean those office jobs where you sit in a room and result to heart attack after being in there for 20 years. Some interesting ones like...an underwater cameraman for discovery channel..or maybe a large scale fisherman..a master diver! Hmmmm...a music producer or a drummer. If only we could go into a hubby market and go by departments and pick them out from their designated aisles.
I would categorize mine as Hot-musically inclined-talented-appreciative-nature lover. “Aisle #44632, miss. And good luck to you! Hubbies are refundable if you must know.”
Do i really care of how my husband is going to be or just how he would look walking around with me covering our eyes with huge Loewe™ aviators running away from paparazzi?
As i realize how much strong of a character i am, I'd need a stronger man in my life who can say things that will make me go “whoa..”. Someone who can guide me to be a better person. He has to be everything that I'm not.
I'm bad at time keeping and have been in big big troubles before, so i need someone to yank me out of my dreams and get real.
....
Back to my husband, we would spend our weekends lying on the hammock reading books. He would enjoy the koi pond we have in our garden. On holidays, we would go east to where the dolphins and the whales are and go dive with them.
At times when he's too busy recording some bands, he would sleep in the studio and i will always come down to keep him company. His parents are so cool that they would always come by to hang out with us and i, a person who is sooo bad with people parents, would be so cool with it.
He must be more religious than i am. He has to be a good leader of the family, thus a good father of my future children. I want my husband who might work in the creative industry to still be grounded, rooted.
My children, Mylo and Allegra (hahaha. I know you're rolling your eyes, curly) will be loved and they will get the love of a father I never had. They will be so close to their pops that I'd be jealous sometimes.
....
The wedding. I mean THE wedding. Will be a simple one by the beach. Only 100 – 200 guests wearing all sorts of colorful dresses and retro suits. Dancing around to the beats of my wedding song, Ceremony by New Order.
Or...
It could be in an old castle! With guests wearing black and i, the only one wearing Vivienne Westwood's white gown with a gradient of rose red. Good food, good music. Industrial setting. Booka Shade, Aril Brikha with a hint of Mr Decay. With many many musician friends to flood the marble floors of the castle with trailing great coutures.
Ahhhhh. In my dreams.
Today i might be thinking of weddings and what to name my 3rd child with Lil or even how i''d cope with sleeper's European lifestyle. Tomorrow, next week i could be stressing over the fact that i just want to be alone.
But there's no harm in imagining, yes?
ssx
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