Right this very moment

Right this very moment, Shopper, her friends and I are sitting at Starbucks with only one drink . One drink for me and the others didn’t dare to buy coffee since we just had an expensive Italian dinner earlier. I didn’t pay.

Why am I here? Because I don’t have internet connection at home anymore. My nextdoor neighbour decided to put password on their wireless connection.

Starbucks, any Starbucks always make me nervous. I don’t know why. When asking for drinks, I’m scared I would say the wrong things, spill the coffee or even trip on my imaginary Manolo’s.

Why do people need to drink fancy named coffee’s anyway? I thought. But then again, why do I like drinking fancy named cocktails? Even if it tastes like shit, I would still order because the names sound so tempting. Sex on the beach. Who wouldn’t want it?

It’s something about me and drinks. I don’t drink while I eat but I still order because everyone has a drink and I tend to order eventhough I will only drink it when the ice has melted.

I don’t know much about alcohol. I loved them, still do. But I was not brought up in a house where drinking alcohol over dinner was normal. All I know is that I love my Cosmopolitan, Lychee Martini and Long Island Tea. Maybe those are the only drinks I knew or maybe because Sex and The City portrays how posh and glamorous it looks drinking martinis.

Curly is at Pallate partying soberly like she always is. She invited me but I just got my period and I’m having the worst cramps ever. Plus, I’m running of cash, it’s scary.

Terry arrived in the city this morning.

Ssx: I registered your name for tonight’s private party at Pallate.

Terry: ick. I don’t think I wanna go.

Ssx: Okay then.

Terry: Are you going?

Ssx: yes.

Terry: don’t go.

What? Now he’s telling me what to do? No way! I’m not just running out of cash. I’m running out on ideas to write. See? Read again from the top and you can see how period cramps can make me so boring. Isaac has been quiet. Aiden came over the other day to visit Mylo. He was injured while doing a flip from a cliff down to a waterfall. Clever. What was a 28 year old DJ and an IT manager doing at the waterfall and was jumping off cliffs? He hit rock bottom literally.

Last few nights, while I was on the intoxicating world wide web, Curly texted me asking me to join her and Guitarist at Guitarist’s place for some soppy love movies. Without thinking I replied..

“sure I’ll be there”

Guitarist’s place is about 6 minutes away, so I thought I could drop by. Shopper came by with some problems to talk about with me when Lil texted me asking me to come over Raggae Bar.

Lil (sigh). And I never sigh! He has been texting me at 6 am saying “go to sleep”. He knew me too well. And he knew exactly how to make me smile. I have been sleeping at 8 am everyday. My world has turned upside down.

At Raggae Bar, Curly called..

Curly: Where are you?!

Ssx: Shit! I forgot about the movie, babe. I’m sorry.

Curly: where are you going?

Ssx: I’m with shopper. Going to Raggae Bar.

I didn’t have the guts to tell her Lil was the one who invited us. She would kill me!

Curly: I’ll see you there. Guitarist is coming. He insisted on us going for a ride in his new vintage BMW anyway.

At the bar, Lil was already drunk. Putting his arms around me…I mean my ass. He asked me to sit on his lap and more. His friend who was at the hotel when I joined Lil last few weeks, was there too.

Lil’s friend: why is Lil so excited? He wasn’t like this just now! Maybe he’s excited to see you ssx.

Maybe, I thought. Or maybe he was too drunk he couldn’t remember who I was. When Curly got there with guitarist, we both screamed..

Curly and I: Fuuuuuuck!!!!!

Guess what? We were wearing the same t-shirt, the t-shirts we bought few weeks at the Art Market. Curly was swearing when I insisted we wore the t-shirts together, and now we did it without planning it. We even wore the same beanies, beads and grey skinny jeans.

After a drink, we walked outside and Lil was trying to convince Shopper and the others to go to his place to drink more. What he meant was, he wanted me to go back to his place. Because if the others weren’t going, I wouldn’t go.

We decided to go home anyways. At home, Lil called..

Ssx: I’m lying on my bed

Lil: That sounds tempting

Ssx: come over

Lil: I’ll bring some vodka. But shit! I cant even stand up.

Ssx: if it’s too dangerous, don’t come. But if you wanna have fun, come. Come.

Lil: who will be there?

Ssx: no one.

What does he want? I mean, of course it’s clear what he really wants. But what does he want out of this relationship? That night, I want..him. So bad. Why does he have to come and go? Why can’t he just stay? And why can’t I stay mad at him for more than a week? Why is it that every time I see him, I will fall back to my old spot and be so tempted to repeat the whole thing? Estrangle-you is nominated in some categories for an award, and so is my group…and it left me mad. But why am I still thinking about him? Why is he in my thoughts every night? After that night, he kept contacting me… every night. Please leave me alone! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

PMS is a bitch. So I’m bitchy now. Sorry.